I cannot claim that I
am untethered
hours do not belong to me
belonging to me are the minutes in stillness
during a deep breath
before I slumber
and still
sleep itself does not unchain me
-TDM
Tag: blogging
Short Story – Part I
The boat rocked violently back and forth, side to side, tipping with the current and against it. Marshal who was at the helm had his coat zipped up over his nose, and if his hat hadn’t blown away his face would have been completely covered. He couldn’t stand the cold, and when the ocean spray drenched him once more, he hollered for Zebb to come on deck.
No reply.
Zebb was tall and thin with curly red hair. He was lucky his eyes were the pale blue they were, lest his beard would have overwhelmed his face and his looks would have been lost in the bush.
Marshal wiped his face with his arm, holding the helm as steady as he could and looked out ahead. He squinted and then widened his eyes.
There was Zebb, standing at the end of the pulpit.
“Crazy bastard,” Marshal yelled. “Get away from there! If you fall in I’m not coming after you!”
Zebb could barely hear Marshal over the wind and the waves, though Marshal was not one to go unheard. But he stood there, with the elements rushing toward him, smiling. He loved the cold. He loved the way it would wake his senses and leave him shivering. It was discipline for him to resist the chill, a welcomed challenge. But the wind was far too strong to resist, and rain was pouring, beating down like the sounds of heavy drums, echoing in his ears.
Zebb turned and walked back to the helm to join Marshal.
“What do you think you were doing up there?” Marshal yelled in his ear.
Zebb laughed his laugh, brushing him off as he grabbed the helm.
“It’s my turn,” he said, taking the wheel from Marshal, who waved him off and went below deck. He was tired and wet, a familiar combination.
His Vessel needed fixing. He wondered how long she would hold up and if it would be best to dock at the next port or continue toward the Hudson. Docking would have certainly been best, but Marshal did not want to extend the trip any longer.
He lay down on his cot.
There were people waiting for him at the edge of the bay, one person he had been apart from for far too long. A round, flushed face with gold stripes tangled in her ashy hair. Maybe she would be wearing that dress that cinched her waist in just so. The one with the little flowers on it that played peekaboo when caught by the wind. He thought about her as he drifted off.
The boat would not dock tomorrow.
Back on deck Zebb was trying to be careful about the night watch, thought it was easy for his mind to wander. Tonight, it was carrying him far away, through familiar woods. He recalled what it was like to lie in the grass, on a cool summer night. How delicately the green would brush against his cheek while the wind blew, tracing the stars in the sky with his fingers, looking for Orion’s Belt. It was a fantastic sort of bliss for him. Yet his last night spent camped beneath the stars was far less euphoric. His neck was sore and his throat seething with pain, and as the rain beat down on his tent, he shifted in his sleeping bag trying to stay warm.
TDM
The True Love Cafe
The True Love Café stood out. Though I had never been inside, it seemed to capture my attention. It was not particularly attractive on the outside, painted a deep shade of purple, with a giant heart scaling the front of its building. The inside, which I could only gather from looking through the windows, was just the same. Unattractive under dim lights (and probably more so amidst bright lights), chairs and tables could be seen in the presence of tall plants, sad looking palm leaves and house shrubbery. Not as appealing to the eye as one would think or hope for a place with “love” in its name.
Only the outlines of figures could be seen, like shadows blurred in the background. A man behind a counter, a few people spread among eight or so tables, moving slowly, making their time last in beats. It seemed quiet to me, as though anyone on the inside could be sheltered from the city sounds, from the noises of streetcars rolling along the tracks, people trudging down sidewalks, bikes, cars, trucks, horns honking, dogs barking, hollering for apologies and yelling for the sake of yelling. It just seemed as though time stood still here, and that it stood quietly with a grin of contentment.
I had never seen anyone enter the café, nor had I ever seen anyone exit. Yet whenever I passed by there were always people inside, perhaps just a coincidence of timing, or perhaps not. Though I admired the pace that seemed to be present among them, the folks inside always seemed quite unwell from where I stood. Why were they able to be so still, so present in their moment? Were they not flooded with the commotion on the outside? How could they not see or hear the masses that passed them by beyond the walls of the café? What content they must have.
TDM
Forest Home (part I)
Were I to take to the forest
And huddle beneath the bush
I would linger and
sustain my wealth
of gratitude
in seed for
carefully plotted conifers
both in splendour and timber
soil
rain
and sunlight
TDM.
Wither and Rot
In a world of shrivel and wilt
When what we need is seed and sprout
I am neither gather nor grow
I am wither and rot
TDM
Hug from Nonna
I hug my Nonna twice a year:
On her birthday
And on mine
But only because I engage
I announce the occasion
Buon compleano!
Lean in
And wrap one arm around her shoulders
I love you
I love you too
A kiss on the cheek
Maybe
But more likely reserved
For milestone occasions
TDM
Lying on a Rock
I disengaged myself
And let every tender vertebra
Feel as pious as
The stone
They were held upon
And reaching overhead
In my supinated situation
I gasped
And let my hands fall to
The pate of the rock
Connecting them like
A halo
Twisting my fingers
Around my own locks
Tangling them between the crown
On my head
Where the coolness of
The stone had met my skull
Supporting it
TDM
Wish
To wish and
wish and
wish to be
gentle
clothed only in magnetic
silence
would be my bliss
TDM
Andrew
You were trying to be
a Kerouac
When you led me
from subway to streetcar
To marbled sidewalk
and thought you were adventure
Looking for old doorways on Bay
Where I knew there were none
And you were trying to make me
your Queen Anne’s Lace
So I would be
gentle with your secrets
sooth your eccentricities
and unravel your spirit
But I was the seedling of
a dogwood flower
And led you
From subway to streetcar
To tall grass footpath
And thought I was adventure
In convincing you
to cascade backwards between
dandelion and dew
to match my wavelength
which was unravelling itself between
the blades of grass
as though the meadow were
a maze leading straight
to your disposition
TDM
Ugly
I have forgotten myself many times
mostly on purpose
I have made days go by without saying hello to
a mirror
and have been even better
at making nights disappear
suffocating myself under blankets
the easiest place to be
where words are muffled
and sounds elude me.
TDM
If I had a Son
If I had a son
I’d name him Jonah
And for the first time I’d be in
Love
With teetering tot
Melting into white cotton
Sheets twisted
around bits of
Twig and sand sprinkled
between the folds of socks
that have slid off of
tiny toes
That I could collect
without disturbing
my love
who
After a long day of
Travelling through backyards
And almost making it over
the swing set is
slow burning
grace
resting gentle
face
TDM
Poetry and Prose by Teresa Di Matteo 