I would very much appreciate some feedback on this piece. I haven’t decided if it is complete or not. Please let me know what you think.
I washed with primrose
Rosehip and jasmine oil
On the night of the full moon
In a stream
Under hill
I bathed over pasture
And disappeared with
With every ripple
And drip
In the superb
Retrograding reflection.
TDM
When my daisy
Came to life
I hinged myself forward and tickled her petals
Then plucking her up forcefully
I cradled her and twirled her up overhead
Dangling her between sky and ground
And like a rabid saltshaker
Her pollen milled through the cracks on my fingers
And seeped into my skin.
T DM
It has been a long time
Since I have listened to chirping or
A flutter
A far cry from usual territory
Out of range by a long
Shot
Beats
Like a propeller, where there is a chill
In the air
Retreat
Or do not if your bones permit
If your fragility
Has not caught up with you
And your garb is puffed and fluffed
In flight you are
Formidable
On solid ground
You are canvass and backdrop
All in one
Swoop
And glide
In a most translucent way
That there may be less chance
Of foul and etched irritants
From gilded feathers
Plucked
Of a nuisance.
TDM
