I was almost extinguished
by your disgust
so I washed
blankets
pillow cases
sheets
clothes
my head
and my toes
and turned around for a second
until I was almost extinguished
once more
by your disgust
so again I washed
blankets
pillow cases
sheets
clothes
my head
and my toes
Then I vomited
until my stomach and tear ducts
were cleared
and I was extinguished
finally
by my own disgust.
Hello water
Little ripples
Gentle tickles
On splashy splash toes
And plunk!
A pike!
Beneath fluttering flight
Of red wing black bird
Weave in and out of cloudy frow
Breaking in gentle rhythm
And
Disperse
Revealing little beams of dinner
time
In Setting sun
And almost day is done
Closer now
Hurry in and peep peep
To gentle sleep
The boogy man stole some of my coffee
And it was a nice cuppa too
I wanted the first sip, at least,
While it was still hot
And I could trace the steam curling
Up, up, over the top of the mug
Who knew he even liked java
The boogy man he
Who snatches other things, I presume
Could have had anything in the room
But you know
Coffee is divine.
I want none of it anymore
sand between toes
a wrinkle in my nose
snuff it out please
for I am not one or two
with anything
I am made of shards of dust
of fallen particle
or leftover bits and bobs
unsuited for the ordinary
I want none of it anymore
the it that is I
that is me
that is scraped together to give shape
to a hopeless shifter
a guilty drifter
I want none of it anymore
as the “none”
is me
and me is unfit to step or speak
where other lives crawl
I want none of it anymore
that carless laughter
that sleepy smile after
a long awaited delight
cut short always
by rippling fright.
I want a new life
so that maybe I can have a soul
implanted in me this time
failure is me right now
the only me I know
self nauseous self.
I hate mirrors
they remind you of how ugly you are
but I don’t see a reflection when I look in the mirror
you need a soul for that
so maybe I can just be a vampire.
I take the form of nothing and of everything disgusting and hopeless
nothing
nothing
I take the form of nothing but everything that is horrible and worthless.
